Monday, April 28, 2008

OCD

is what I have. It is not depression. It looks like depression. It is not autism. It looks like autism. But in reality it is OCD. I need to be aware of this and control it myself. Because I know I can do this.

Friday, April 4, 2008

I Think

My current work is not so bad as I imagine. There are some good items worth working on. I just have to gather courage and move on.

If I assume that I am not going to move in another 5-6 months, then I will have to do my work faithfully, should not hate it and at the same time have an agenda for getting myself prepared well. That should be a solid unshakable agenda.

Anything can be done, but time should not be wasted.

I think there some kind of chicken and egg problem for me to break and move on. I envisage that I will change when I am in a new environment - new house, new city, new job, new friends etc. But To be in such a new environment, I first have to change myself. Then the current environment will also look new to me. I have to start changing. It is all in me.

I am in this environment for a reason. They are in such environments for a reason. Because we all deserve our respective environments. If we are better, we deserve better environments. If we demand more from ourselves, we get more. Otherwise, we will just be travelling along the direction of wind. There has to be a change. Change should come - in thoughts, in life style, in habits, in work, in mindset. Everything has to be new. But the new-ness should start from within. Then automatically new-ness will start without.