Two problems I found today

in me are:

• Attention syndrome
• If I take up something for doing, then I don't seem to be thinking well about it before committing it. If I end up aborting that job, it feels like hell sometimes.

Attention syndrome is too much in me. I have to meditate deeply from now-onwards to have focusing power. Having said that, I know that :

• I can do anything
• I need to be slow and do one thing at a time.
• Need to have some sense of priority.
  

Remember

to be:

• slow. No urgency. No hurry. Be cool and get things done in your pace.
• YOU.
  
• feeding a variety of things to your mind. Start reading a lot of fiction and watching a lot of different movies. You make your mind more flexible with that.
• Love what you do.
• sane in your mind. Don't imagine stupid things. Keep yourself busy most of the time so that your mind does not digress.
• Meditate and become stress free. Emotional fatigue is the cause of all problems.
  

Habits

I find that I am, now-a-days, starting to incorporate some good habits. Some of them are:

• Get up in the morning, on an average, at 6:30 AM
• Do exercise daily
• Stop eating junk food to an extent
• Stop drinking tea too much
• Eat nuts and seeds at night for dinner

I find this as a positive change. I have to do it more so that I can inculcate them into my lifestyle permanently.

But, I find one thing eating too much of my time and energy. It is too much self-consciousness. Another one is Ostentatiousness. I cannot seem to be without these for a consistent 10 minutes, which is very sad. What should I do to completely get away from it? Of course, I will have to progressively get away from it.

For the moment, I really don't see any solutions. But, I will sit on this one. I will think about it intensively and finally find some way out.

One way is to really focus on the subject at hand, contemplate what Atanu said (for every hour I spend, I will have to spend many more hours to really understand what I should learn from it) and apply it in this context.

Disappointment

Disappointment comes from either expecting too much from the self and not getting it or not committed enough to achieve the things planned. Disappointment comes from the sudden appearance of unexpected things and our sporadic reaction to them. This can take many forms. A seemingly unfitting one would be to have idle time, seek out things randomly, see/experience an unexpected one and behave sporadically. An idle mind (not able to see what next) is also a cause of disappointment. Spinning things in mind without getting them done is another cause for disappointment. Every time if comes to the mind, it reminds us that we are the same old person that we used to be and that there is no apparent change. The things can be anything. It can be bad habits, it can be fears, it can be pending todo things, it can be inferiority complexes, it can be bad memories so on and so forth. Of all disappointment comes from the lack of emotional intelligence. Our ability, or rather our inability, to respond appropriately to an impulse. The impulses are the ones that are mentioned above. The response is disappointment. So long as our response it bad, bad things cherish in our minds. Some way has to be found to change our response. One has to create a really good state of things(us, our things, our people) and convert all our responses to impulses as leading to our desired state. In that way all our thoughts, feelings always create positive energy in our minds as well as body. The challenge lies in taking all the seemingly (with the current state of mind) negative things and convert them (or rather reconfigure our minds' neural networks) to look like positive things ending up with a grin on the face. It is like using the same neural networks to change themselves. That is the power of consciousness. I will have to start thinking about these reconfigurations.

Emotional Intelligence

I have seen many books/articles/whatever that talk about emotional intelligence a lot and say that it is very important for success etc. But I have seen not a single source which talks about what to do, when things shove i.e. when without our consciousness, we tend to be taken over by our emotions wanting to meet some urge. At that time, our neo-cortex seems to lay dormant, not able to take control. What happens exactly at that moment? How do we get into doing those same things again? - the answer is naturally. Because, you were doing it till yesterday, you will do it today also. And if you don't resist it, you will do it tomorrow also. Probably it is as simple as that.

When the emotions are taking us up, hypnotizing us and letting us into doing what it wants to do, something has to be done. One rule of thumb is that if one can't find a generic solution, take up special cases and handle them separately. Eventually, you may find a pattern.

That said, I am tempted to write some general thoughts about it. :-) Whenever we are about to decide (either voluntarily or involuntarily) to do something that we regret later doing it, it is because of a lot of factors:

• As already said, it is because you have been doing it.
• The first thing is to become conscious about the fact that you are about to be entrapped.
• The next thing is to try to resist it. It can be through many ways:
• Through will power. It ceased to work for me.
• Through diversion. You strongly focus on something else that you completely forget about the current urge to give into it.
• Through reasoning. This is the most professional way of preventing one from giving into it, IMO. But it is very subjective. I mean, what reasons are you going to give? Say, take that habit for example. The moment has come when you started feeling the urge to give into it because you envisioned, heard, saw, touched, felt something that has invoked those hormones and is compelling you to go for it. What do you do? Emotions have completely taken control over you. Will you even have the consciousness to realize that you can invoke reason to get away from it?

What a beauty is it!! Emotions give control to reason and reason, once takes control, can tune emotions. How do we harness the power of it?

Office time

I was thinking that I, on an average, spend about an hour for teas/lunch/snacks/breakfast. If I stay in office from 10 AM to 6 PM i.e. for 8 hours, then 7 hours will be my work time. In that, if I work for 4 to 4.5 hours, the rest 2 to 2.5 hours will be for me to do some other work - lets say it is purely MissionA work. For that I need to collect somethings and read them during those times. I have created a tag called officeBreak in del.icio.us so that I can pick one and start reading them.

My timings for reading officeBreak items are:

• 10 to 12:30 PM is office work.
• 12:30 to 1 PM is officeBreak work.
• 1:45 to 2:30 PM is officeBreak work.
• 2:30 to 4:30 PM is office work.
• 4:30 to 5:00 PM is officeBreak work.
• 5:30 to -- is office work.

The Persistent Vision

I want to understand the world. I want to explain the world in my own terms. I want to propagate critical thinking in this world. Because I know that is how the world can be saved from our own insanity. I also know that I must be the change I wish to see in this world. I myself want to become a critical thinker. I want to become a brilliant, systemic thinker. I want to show by example how the world can prosper and things can improve by doing responsible and critical thinking. I can show that only by becoming a teacher. I want to be a teacher. Because I think that is where the true sharing of knowledge and more importantly wisdom takes place. I got it from a lot of my (direct or indirect) teachers.

I want to become one, but for that I need to improve myself. The current avatar of me is an avatar where I am being a Paarth asking questions, interpreting answers and understanding the world. There are a lot of Krishnas in this world from whom I learn. To me, everybody is a Krishna. I learn something from everybody. All the Krishnas teach me silently by doing, acting, talking, behaving. They all teach me either how to do something or how not to do something. Whether it be charm, courage or love or whatever, I learn a bit from everybody and everything - be it an object. I am in search of my knowledge and wisdom. I am constantly exploring my limits and pushing them. While all this is taking place, I am very cool. I am persistent. I know that true learning is not a trivial activity and that I need to be patient. I know that the bigger, better and wiser self is always just a second away from me. I am not overwhelmed by the vast amount of information or knowledge in front of me. I know that a man cannot learn all by himself. I also know that it is the basic principle behind all these specialized economies which has created miracles. I am in search of my specialized knowledge tree. I have not yet come to terms with it, but I know that I am going to, one day. I am like Socrates, always questioning. I never stop questioning and only by questioning, I like to pass on knowledge and wisdom.

I always wears a smile on my face, that reflects the peace inside me. That small, simple and great smile acknowledges my humbleness, my dignity, my maturity, my aplomb, my confidence, and my patience.

I meditate very deeply. I reunite with all of my energies during the meditation and becomes energetic. Whenever I see myself in a mirror, I get reminded of the fact that I have been sent down for a mission and I need to find it with full self-discipline.

I eat healthy foods and avoid junk food. I eat a lot of vegetables and fruits and nuts and seeds. I exercise daily. Every morning, I get up and deeply breathe. I then sit for about a couple of minutes, cools my waking evils, smiles and then starts the ritual.

Whenever a negative thought comes to my mind, I acknowledge that only through suffering that true growth happens. I asks what is it that I have to learn from those set of thoughts and how am I going to incorporate the newly realized knowledge.

I am very persistent in asking questions. I know that only questions can unlock the whole wealth of knowledge that is hidden from the human mind. So I persist in asking different kinds of questions, until the task gets done. I understand the importance of questions and respects them a lot.

I come along, have a majestic gait. I focus on anything like a laser. When I talk, I talk clearly, to the point and with an authoritative voice. I am very conscious about the things happening around me and am an astute observer. I plan everything properly and does the work accordingly. I have a very strong muscle body. I sit straight. I look like Michael Mukherjee. I am very courageous. I am not afraid of the little things. I am very confident. I believe in myself completely. I am fast, dynamic. I quickly grasp things, though at times I am slow only to understand things properly. I strongly believe in "Do whatever you are doing perfectly" philosophy. My schedule is like a black hole. Everything can go into it. I do a lot of things, yet after all done, I am still active, kicking and screaming with a lot of enthusiasm. I am not moved by the small little hyped things happening around me. I do everything properly and with full discipline. I have minimum common sense and expects the same from others. I see fun in everything I do. I care a lot about the nation. I never waste time. I keep thinking about something because I have a lot of things that I do not know and keep asking questions about them.