I need to free myself. Free thyself of what? Free thyself of old habits - of thought, of actions, of feelings, of emotions.
You are more self-conscious. Self consciousness is a gift not gotten by many people. If you can exploit/leverage it rightly, then you are the one. :-)
You take the work as burdensome so it becomes difficult to raise above your current level of imposed apparent limitations - whatever they may be. You need to see the work as fun.
How would you see the work as fun? Ah!! I think I have asked myself a very important question after a long time. Infact this question can be asked more generically. How do you see things as fun?
